Heartfelt Lessons
by nyahchatnoir
Summary: DEATH AU: Felix is dying, and it's all Adrien's fault! Everything is Adrien's fault... Set many years before the series and has slight mentions of Adrienette. Felix and Adrien centric.


**Nothing in this belongs to me. I don't entirely know where I'm going with this, but feel free to offer suggestions if you'd like. I may start doing a bunch of little one-shots and let this become a collection of short stories. It just depends. AU shot were the origin episode does not exist.**

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 ***Setting: Years before the events in Miraculous Ladybug.***

A quiet laugh broke through the otherwise overwhelmingly dreary silence.

"Adrien," the sound of a saddened voice reached the ears of the tiny blonde in question, and he stared up from his stance, leaning with his entire body across the body of his brother's hospital bed. There came a lengthy pause, as both boys mutely stared at one another. Then, he whimpered.

A second more melancholic chuckle escaped his brother, and the older man mentally beamed. Though his gaze spoke of a warm fondness for his only brother, the bottom portion of his face was nothing but a pair of pale, deepening cheeks and a shrunken, quaking lip that only seemed to secretly haunt his dreams. The fear of losing his brother had created many nightmares for the young lad.

Sensing his brother's discomfort, the older male gave a withering half-hearted grin and repeated, "Adrien, why are you crying?"

The aforementioned child merely sniffled and fixed his hands around the white, freshly cleaned sheets of his brother's hospital bed. His small trembling fingers immediately dug into the linen's pressed fibers and squeezed them into a tightly knit ball. The nurse had swapped and fixed them no longer than five minutes ago. Her interrupting one of their last moments together was certainly a cause of annoyance for him. However, it was his brother's suddenly terrifying and elongated fit of coughing that placed him in a mood of such distress. The sight was disturbing. The terrible image of his brother's erratic coughing would forever haunt his memories, and with every rapid ounce of pressure, his brother's form would wrack forward harshly. Once he was done, the brothers' parents would calmly walk out of the hospital room and leave behind an air of thick irreversible tension. Then, the two would talk and talk. Their arguments were becoming more frequent nowadays.

Still, the little boy could never blame his brother for their parent's growing disgruntlement. None of this was his fault; instead, for an unknown reason, Adrien blamed himself. Why couldn't he be strong enough to save him? Why couldn't he save their parents' love?

Adrien was to blame; everything, he did it, and soon his very own brother would be gone because of Adrien's actions. The boy felt as if his entire would was crumbling around him.

 _It's my fault. It all my fault._

That mantra was on repeat within Adrien's mind, as he leant himself precariously against the weight of his brother's hospital bed, needlessly but understandingly gripping the sheets. His little, blameless nails whitened, while his non-bloodied knuckles constricted further. Everything that Adrien thought was true. The child knew that he was the one to blame for his older brother's precipitously immense decline in health. _You did it_ was the only thought that the boy was okay with believing, yet the simple idea of this filled him with a deep sense of hopelessness.

Love. Loss. Letting go.

Truthfully, the child learnt something new with every passing day. It was funny in a tremendously cruel way; the kid's life was like an extremely PG-13 version of Sesame Street, but without all of the happiness and the singing. First, his father was became obsessed with his work in the fashion world, and the man's presence was soon scarce. Then, his mother's curfew was being ignored, and she was staying out later and later. Neither parent was ever around. The only one who watched him at this point was his older brother, Felix. His unhappiness began a year ago when his grandmother died of brain cancer; since he was only five at the time, Adrien was not allowed to see her once the cancer managed to finally make it to her brain. Still, Felix was able to see her; thus, that night, the usually emotionless teen hugged his brother into the darkness, and the two wept over their mutual loss. As time passed, his heart broke just a tad bit more with each and every experience. Leftover pieces later became smaller pieces. Therefore, the next pieces became smaller and smaller. They became minuscule and fragile shards.

Adrien learned so many things during his first sixteen years of life. When he was six, there was honestly not much left of his heart. Besides the love he held for his family, the disappointment that he felt towards himself led him to seek their affection. He wanted to be better than himself, but even then, his search for praise was not love. Photo-shoots and good grades was not warmth. Missed holidays and secondhand pens was not friendliness. A blue scarf, tenderly woven by hand, that did not even come from a parent. The image he had built up of what love looked at felt like was a lie… Besides the soft-hearted relationship that the blonde held with his older brother, he would not find any genuine kind of love until much, much later.

As of this moment, Adrien was still searching. His brother, and later his mother, helped to teach him this fact around the end of his sixth year alive.

 **Lesson one: Everyone leaves.**

This day was but a week before his upcoming birthday.

Standing beside his sickly brother's bed, Adrien felt as if his emotions were choking him.

"B-Because Felix," the cute blonde almost tearfully chided, "Y-You're dying. The doctors said so. The doctors – they don't know what's wrong – they've never seen it before."

When he spoke, the much younger lad felt a fresh wave of salty tears well up within the corners of his pretty bright green eyes. The rawness of the tears' presence gave him a pair of dark puffy rings beneath his dark lashes. Weary orbs shown up at the lighter haired blonde. They sparkled with a young and untainted innocence, though a look of deep-rooted pain and blame was hidden in plain sight for only Felix to witness. The older male felt a thickness in his throat; Adrien's stare held a downtrodden and heartbreaking sheen that made his brother smile sadly, almost agonizingly.

Felix reached out a withering hand, immediately deciding that the two needed to have a talk.

"Come here, Ad," the weighted sound of Felix's soft voice carried across the otherwise silent hospital room, and Adrien glanced up at him, his gaze appearing as if he felt unworthy. The older male made a small gesture towards the dark haired blonde, "Take my hand; come up."

The gentle but firm command in Felix's tone forced Adrien to comply. Hesitantly taking his brother's outstretched hand, he gasped openly, when his weakened kin managed to fully pull him onto the bed; albeit, Felix was grimacing in slight pain afterwards. He laughingly placed a single hand over his quickened heart and continued, "See? I've still got you. I'm fine."

Adrien immediately felt the need to fervently eradicate his brother's false promises. Pulling his face into an emotional pout, the little boy sniffled once more and subsequently inclined himself softly against Felix's side.

"No you're not," the child whispered pitifully and hesitantly glanced up through the thickness of his lashes at his brother. He muttered, "You're not fine, Felix…You're sick, and you're dying."

At Adrien's repeated lament, the usually standoffish and rude Felix carefully placed his arms around his younger look-alike; they could have been twins if they had been born at the same time. Gradually, feeling pensive, Felix placed his head upon Adrien's golden crown. He positioned himself at an angle strictly so that his brother could not see his expression, before he set his pointed lips into a tiny, knowing purse. A lot of things suddenly come into perspective when you are dying. Those close to you whom you previously did not place much attention on instantly take a greater space within your heart; the snow-blonde man knew this now. So many years he had wasted within the Agreste mansion's library; so many hours he had not chosen to spend with the ones who cared for him the most.

Within Felix's heart, there was two people whom he loved dearly: his brother…and her.

The much older male mentally went over his options, before he finally decided to be honest with his kin. There was no stopping Adrien once he finally set his mind on something.

"Hmm," Felix felt his heart sink, as his voice slowly drifted off, "So that's how it is..."

 _ **His brother already knew of his fate, huh? Smart kid.**_

It was not until a full minute later that Felix's voice returned to him. The teen let out a weary chuckle and replied, "Oh, you heard all that? Those kinds of things are usually kept privy from the ears of nosy ne'er do wells, you know. To know those kinds of details - well, you're certainly a perceptive little sneak, aren't you, Ad?"

Shaking slightly, his face wincing, Felix tenderly grasped his younger brother's hand. The rest of his words came out tired but hopeful.

"Promise me, Adrien. Look me in the eyes."

Blinking timidly, the little blonde met Felix's stare. Feeling a rush of honestly, his elder sibling spoke, "When you get home, go straight into my bedroom. Nowhere else. There is a special thing that I want you to keep. A gift from me; it's in my last bedroom drawer hidden beneath a large pile of socks. I want you to take it and hide it away somewhere that only you can find it. Do _not_ put it on until you feel like you're strong enough. It's... eternally important to me. Please take good care of it for me, okay? I honestly don't want you to have to hand it off to anyone else for a _very_ long time. I couldn't keep my promise; I couldn't fulfill my contract, but please don't be like me. Promise me that you'll look after it."

Adrien nearly felt like crying again. It was the intense rawness in Felix's earnest plea which made him unable to respond anything except for a small, authentic utterance.

"You're wrong."

Felix's brow furrowed, and he blinked confusedly, as Adrien pulled away to look him square in the eyes. The young boy felt his resolve harden, and his form became taut in the weight of his brother's embrace. Noticing Adrien's intensity, Felix's brow gradually decreased, leaving behind a bleak beam in its wake. The caring anger that the older male found in those lit orbs communicated to him that he had made a good decision; everything would be okay. He only hoped that Adrien would survive longer than he had.

With an expression of absolute conviction, Adrien uttered, "I would be lucky to be like you, Felix! Even a tiny s-shadow of you... J-Just a shadow is fine!"

With that said, the little blonde wailed and threw his arms tightly around Felix's neck. His tears sunk into the older brother's hospital gown, but he did not care. All that mattered was that Adrien was here in his hospital room, alive and well, and loving him at that moment.

Felix was truly, actually, honestly lucky. The male considered everyone, even the most tragic person, as blessed, if they had someone who loved them enough to cry over their well-being at least once. All that Felix needed was one; in return, likewise, Adrien was one of the lone people whom Felix was sure to shed a tear over that night. Each would hit his pillow in a crescendo

Then, the two brothers spent many hours together. The two laughed and cried. They talked and talked until their throats were sore, and the nurse on their floor kindly brought the pair a glass of cold water for both of them. It was not until their father's assistant came to receive him that their time together ended. Before the two left, however, a strange female hesitantly walked into the room.

Adrien instantly voiced his thoughts.

"Felix, who is she?"

Adrien caught the look in Felix's eyes, as his brother met the unknown woman's gaze. He blinked but turned to fully take in her appearance. The woman was a thick but beautiful brunette with a tone of dark, caramelized skin. Under the heavy stance of her black eyes, the young blonde noticed a thick ring of sleepless black lines.

Adrien closed his eyes and hollowly grabbed the assistant's hand.

"Goodbye Felix," the blonde brokenly whispered, "I-I love you."

Though Adrien was quite young, he was incredibly smart and inventive. The naturally inquisitive boy was sure that he would never see his older brother again. No measure of hope or prayer could save Felix. It was only a matter of time, and it was all his fault. Everything was Adrien's fault.

As the assistant gave the child a moderately sympathetic smile, he and moved to pull him out of the treatment room. Felix had to hold back a sudden urge to sob at the image of his brother's back walking away from him.

The dying teen called over the assistant's shoulder and yelled, "I love you, too! Bye, Adrien..."

Only two people know that the golden haired child cried the rest of the way out to the car; the assistant and her.

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Back in the tense atmosphere of Felix's hospital room, the light haired man gave his new visitor a heavy stare. The muted gape was reciprocated, until an emotional river of tears emerged from the corners of her usually strong and resilient orbs. She sobbed openly, as she listened to Felix attempt to lighten the mood. That stupid... _you can't take the Chat Noir out of an idiot_ ; no matter what the person is going through. They are each all the same in an array of different ways.

Felix gave a melancholic chuckle.

"The rings don't necessarily choose you, you know. Sometimes the wearer can decide the next one in line. Plagg told me that one day. I think that the the old kwami will be okay with this... so long as Adrien gives him cheese."

Felix's joke only seemed to make her form shake horribly out of despair, as she gazed openly in his direction. Water streamed un-apologetically down her thick, chubby cheeks.

"I-I can't," the woman brokenly whispered and took an exhausted step toward her best friend, "I don't... I don't know if I can make it without you. I-I need you, Felix."

Felix closed his eyes and laid his head contentedly against his pillow. A hefty hollow gust escaped his barely parted lips. Feeling a heavy thud in his chest, the teen drew in a worn-out breath and tenderly whispered, "I know, my lady. I know, but for now you shall have to carry on. I believe in you."

His best friend made her way ever-so-slowly to his bedside. Her movements appeared dream-like, as she placed a shaking hand over his bony shoulder.

"I love you, Felix."

"I love you too, Shanti... And now you must wait until I can get to you once more."

"You mean the ring – your ring – but as him?" the woman resignedly questioned.

Felix stared for an extensive and subdued moment. With every passing moment, the teen was growing more tired, so he put out his hand once more. this time for his first and only love, and eventually replied, "I want you to watch out for him. Please."

Gazing deeply into her partner's mature gaze, Shanti could not help but sigh. The dark skinned woman reached for Felix's hand and placed a tiny, respectful peck to his palm. Then, pouting a little, she leaned down to give him a soft kiss on the lips; both felt a short-lived yet shocking surge of electricity run through them. It was their first and last kiss. How sad.

Felix uttered nothing, as his partner Shanti, the current Ladybug, gave a tearful and sympathetic leer. He watched her expression carefully, sadly grinning as the woman's top and bottom lips started to shake from an intense but sickening wave of love. It crashed against her heart in a plethora of wild waves which shook her deep into her very core. The woman pressed another kiss into the crease of his palm. Then, she inelegantly threw her arms tightly around his overtly shrunken waist.

"Anything for you, you stupid stupid cat."

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 *****MANY HOURS LATER*****

Forever faithful to her best friend, Shanti laid in the folds of the Felix's white hospital bed, dutifully curled around the thin man's form. The girl grasped his hand within the warmth of her much larger ones, and she placed many kisses along his cheek. The woman gently consoling him as he cried.

Into the late hours of the night, the woman held onto him. The aura of her kind voice was not heard but felt within the whole hospital, as a gentle whisper on the breeze. The tenor of her haunting lament spoke of undying strength and love, as she seemed to almost sing, _"Shh, shh… It's alright… It's okay to cry."_

People could be heroes in many ways; big or small, they can make a difference in someone's life. An entire world ending and beginning in one night.

Felix learned that on the night that she shushed him into a sweet, teary-eyed and drunken heavy slumber. As his sleep became increasingly dreamless, a deep feeling of welcomed melancholy carefully settled itself over the hospital. Though the sun indeed shown beautifully the next day, all that shown in the hospital room that morning was a few streaks of light which bled through a softly waving window curtain which covered a breathtaking view of Paris' skyline. Beneath the sparkling particle of the ever-peeking sunbeams lain the empty yet dreaming shell of a man who once defied the natural laws of the world. Along with Felix's body, there was the leftover ghostly murmur of a newly freed soul, and a single black and red spotted ladybug sitting upon the windowsill.

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 **I'm thinking about turning this into a story/set of one-shots in a story timeline. What do you guys think? Don't forget to follow, review, ect. (:**


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